ATLANTA, GA - Following recent major budgeting cuts and various threats to its future as a channel, TV network Cartoon Network has announced a really cool-looking new TV show that they will not actually produce and use to write off expenses on their taxes.
The new show, titled "Crystal HyperForce," features a team of characters diverse in gender and race that fight dinosaur robots using gigantic crystal guns that they control with their mind, will feature an interracial gay couple, and will never see even a second's worth of screentime.
"This is a new move for us," a visibly anxious Michael Ouweleen, CEO of Cartoon Network, was quoted as saying in a recent press release. "Oftentimes, shows have been cancelled due to concerns of budget on our channel. However, this is a daring look into a future in which shows don't even premiere before being axed for monetary reasons."
Social media users are already eagerly awaiting the chance to picket Cartoon Network to release the show and change absolutely nothing, an opportunity usually only given to shows still on the air.
"Things are looking up for animation," an anonymous Bluesky user recently told The Bend. "The release-to-cancellation pipeline is getting thinner and thinner each year, and the singularity has finally been reached by a show that's cancelled before it even aired! Innovation is truly alive."
Crystal HyperForce will join the legion of Cartoon Network shows that were cancelled that you almost kinda remember, alongside Megas XLR, Destroy Build Destroy, and 6teen.*
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